Domesticity
by Ima Super Mute Ant
Summary: Lee and Gaara are living together in Sunagakure. Working, Sleeping, taking care of a baby. Life is good. Shonen ai. GaaLee moments. Semicontinuation of Water Logic. NOT AN MPREG!
1. Sabaku Goes to Work

Authors Note: YO everybody! This fic is a sort-of continuation of the last chapter of my 'Water Logic' series which I feel like I've finished. That could be a lie though because Water Logic seems to operate all on its own. Well, s'all good. Enjoy.

Domesticity: Sabaku Goes to Work

by ImaSuperMuteAnt

* * *

Two weeks. Lee had been a father for two weeks and already he was beginning to think that it was going to drive him mad. The doctor had proclaimed Sabaku to be "about nine to twelve months old", meaning Lee would not have to spent any nights waking up at two am to feed the new addition to the family. At the same time, Lee found that he was run ragged trying to take care of her even when she _did _sleep through the night.

"It is crying again." Gaara did not help one bit.

Lee sighed. He knew that his boyfriend/lover/partner/Gaara-shaped-person loved Sabaku-chan very much. He could tell in the way that Gaara would sometimes kiss the top of her head when he though no one was looking, and the way stuffed animals seemed to mysteriously appear in her crib overnight. At the same time, he knew that Gaara was completely lost when it came to their child. His inability to do the simplest things, like changing diapers, and his habit of referring to her as an 'it' whenever he was confused were beginning to wear on Lee's already depleted nerves.

"_She_ is crying." Lee said, barely suppressing his very _unenthusiastic_ response, "and _you_ are going to fix it."

Gaara gave Lee a look that could have been interpreted as many forms of "what?" but Lee merely turned his face away and began moving through his morning exercises. Lee was very happy to be a father, he was increasingly awed by the Flame of Youth and Exuberance held withing that small body. He was _not_, however, a housewife and he was _not _the only one in the relationship.

Gaara spent a few minutes looking at Lee as if he expected the leaf-nin to relent simply from the power of his stare. Usually people did. Usually Lee did. This was not usually, however, and Gaara soon found him self sulking across of the room (as only Gaara could sulk, without sound or expression or any indication of emotion at all except for the great waves of "I am not happy" pouring from his every movement). He lifted her carefully from the crib, looking her deeply in her red, scrunched up eyes.

"Stop crying." Gaara commanded. She ignored him, screaming even louder and with more of the exuberance that lee admired so much.

"... Please?" Gaara brought her in to his chest, sniffing daintily. He was pleased to find that she still smelled sweetly of baby-powder and mashed peas. At least he wouldn't have to suffer through _that_ ordeal.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, verbalizing his question for the benefit of the child who couldn't be expected to know what he was thinking.

"She's not going to _tell_ you what she needs!" Lee exclaimed at the hight of his eighty-second sit up.

"Is she hungry?" He asked Lee. Lee knew about babies. Lee was good at this. Lee was not Sabaku-no-Gaara, the demon of the sand and eater of babies (even if Gaara did not eat babies).

Lee gave Gaara a look from his sit ups and decided to give his boyfriend a break. At least the Kazekage was _trying_ now...

"Most likely not. I fed her when I got up so she should be good for another few hours." He told Gaara patiently.

"Then what does she _want_?" Gaara demanded. The screaming was making him uncomfortable. And he didn't like it either. Lee remained silent, because Gaara needed to be able to take care of his daughter. He wouldn't say a word. He wouldn't say a _word_...

Gaara sent a glare at Lee's silence and then turned back to the baby. There a a momentary hesitation before he carefully cradled her against his chest and began rocking, allowing Sabaku to grab a chunk of his hair and bury her head behind his ear.

The crying stopped.

"Wonderful!" Lee proclaimed, jumping from his place on the floor, "A triumph of Care and Love! Good job Gaara!"

Lee walked to the door, giving his baby-toting lover a grin before he opened the door, "I'll see you at dinner! Good luck!"

With that, Lee Left. Gaara stood for a moment, unable to voice any argument. He looked down at the baby who was sleeping quietly in his arms and sighed. Gaara was expected to be in the office in little more than fifteen minutes, and Lee had left him with the baby. He heaved a sigh, hoping that Lee could hear his protest from all the way across the village where he was undoubtedly doing something Youthful and Vigorous.

Shifting Sabaku into one arm, Gaara grabbed the baby-bag and departed for the office. It wasn't his fault that Lee had decided to make it a Gaara-Sabaku bonding holiday. It wasn't his employees fault either. Gaara knew exactly who was going to suffer because of Lee's actions, and it wasn't him.

* * *

Gaara secretary didn't say a word as he rushed through the office almost a half an hour late with a baby in one arm and a bulging diaper bag in the other. He sat down at his desk and stared blankly at the piles of paperwork that loomed ahead of him. Sabaku released an almost sickeningly adorable cooing sound and pulled out a tuft of his hair.

Gaara placed Sabaku on the floor with a ball and a jingly ring thing that was almost as captivating for him as it was for her. He began his work, lifting the first form from the top of the pile and stamping it without looking.

Fifteen minutes later he changed her diaper, discovering that it really wasn't as bad as he expected. She was _awfully _cute...

Twenty minutes after that they broke for lunch. Gaara had veal and pasta, served by his ever faithful and terrified secretary. Sabaku had mashed bananas, mashed carrots, and mashed potatoes. Gaara wondered if you could mash veal. Three papers went to their recipients with heavy stains from liquefied vegetables and applesauce.

Five minutes after that Gaara gave up on papers. He was too busy singing the hamster song in funny voices.

At exactly two thirty pm Temari walks into the Kazekage's office. It is her daily ritual. She arrives at the same time every day, says hello to the nice secretary, and then engages her brother in conversation for exactly two and a half minutes before taking his completed paperwork and leaving the way she came. Temari liked her routine. It showed that there were no emergencies, no wars, no psychotic brothers out for blood. It made her feel safe.

Temari was, understandably, upset at the interruption of her routine when she entered her youngest brother's office only to find him on the floor rolling a ball back and forth between himself and a baby. There was no paperwork.

"Gaara." She said, quietly and calmly, it wasn't too long ago that her brother would kill on the slightest whim, "have you done _any_ work today?"

"Hmmm?" he said, sounding so completely relaxed that she wondered if he had been replaced by pod clones when she wasn't looking. That Lee character had always been shady...

"Yes." He said, "Look at this..."

Her brother's attention turned to his daughter, and for a moment Temari saw the sort of devoted adoration so prevalent in new parents. It made her want to throw up a little.

"Do we like paperwork?" he asked Sabaku in his usual emotionless voice.

"No!" she proclaimed.

"Do we want to do paperwork?" He asked, focusing entirely on the small bundle of cuteness.

"No!" Sabaku cried again.

"And what happens when we don't have to do paperwork?" He asked.

Sabaku looked at him, her mouth splitting into a frighteningly familiar grin. Her eyes sparkled and she screeched in laughter before crying, "T'rumph!" as loudly as possible.

"I think Lee taught her that." Gaara said.

Temari blinked. Not only was the child _already_ mirroring the habits of the infamous green-beast but Gaara was _smiling_ at it. His lips stayed where they were but Temari, after years of seeing half-frowns and amused eye-brow-twitches, could see the grin in his eyes as clear as cellophane. It was almost more frightening than Rock Lee at his enthusiastic-ist.

"I'm going to go now." Temari said, "I'm... going to go now.

"No!"

Temari wondered if she would ever have a nice, normal day again.

* * *

PS. Authors Note: Well folks, here is the first installment of the Domesticity series. I'm feeling pretty good about it at the moment but that could change. The hamster song is not, I repeat _not_, the same as the hamster dance. I think most families have a hamster song. In my head, its the song 'blue moon' sung in a hamster voice. It could be something entirely different for you. The hamster song is a very versatile entity.

Once again, unedited and lonely. Send me reviews and I won't cry.


	2. Bedtime Story

An Authors note:

Just so everybody knows. Sabaku-chan isn't exactly a "babe-in-arms" even when they find her. Not to mention I'm messing a little with child development because I know next to nothing about it. At this point in the story, Sabaku is nearing her second birthday, she's speaking in short words and sentences; "Bye-bye", "No", "Want something..." etc. She can also say her name (Sabaku no Sabaku or Rock Sabaku, depending on who you ask) and understands more than she lets on. She can also walk, scribble, and cause trouble.

* * *

Domesticity: Sabaku no Sabaku and the bedtime story 

by ISMA

* * *

Lee felt guilty. Maybe not a guilty as he should have been, but he was still guilty and that was saying a lot. Gaara was out of town on a special mission to Water Country (a mission Lee believed to be far too menial for the Kazekage) and had left his lover and child all alone to pine away dramatically. Thankfully, Lee was spared from the Intense Feelings of Loneliness and Bereavement by the cheerful companionship of a cranky child. 

It was late now, the Glorious Shining of the Ever Romantic Moon had moved very far beyond the horizon. If anything, Lee expected dawn to come any hour now. He was still awake, holding an overtired child who found it almost impossible to sleep on her own. Lee was forced to resort to drastic measures to ensure the Glorious Rest of himself and his child.

Which was exactly why he felt guilty.

"So..." Lee began, glad that Gaara was not there to hear what he was about to say.

"Once upon a time, there was a Dreadful and Horrifying demon, called Shukaku..."

"Shu-k_a_-ku!" Sabaku squealed, completely breaking the restful mood.

"Hai." Lee continued, "But the demon was subdued by a Glorious and Youthful prince named Sabaku no..."

"Sabaku no Sabaku!" Sabaku chimed in. Lee paused, he had been about to say _Gaara. _But her idea worked too.

"Eh... Hai, Sabaku no Sabaku. The... erm... prince sealed the Dreadful and Horrifying beast within... _her_self. It was a great burden, but the prince Preserved through the Winter of her Desolation and soon found triumph over the darkness!" Lee was beginning to like this story a great deal, and Sabaku was becoming even more entranced.

"T'rumph!" Lee was at times so amazed by his little daughter's lingual skills that it brought him to tears. She was so _smart_!

"One day, the Youthful prince found herself in a very green village far to the west of her native desert." Lee continued. Sabaku remained silent, completely immersed in the story that was pouring forth from Lee's admittedly over sized mouth.

"In that village there was also a Vicious Demon, who went by the name of Kyuubi." Lee continued. Mentally apologizing to Naruto for his impending transgressions.

"Kyuubi had not been sealed by a Fierce and Handsome Prince, and when the prince engaged him in battle it was a fierce and Glorious battle against the Unrestrained Forces of Evil. The prince was pushed back and Wounded Grievously, but the power of her Youth soon prevailed! The Kyuubi was defeated, and sealed within the body of another prince from the far away kingdom.

"However, the prince of the leaf was infected with the Kyuubi's hate, and declared that they would become Eternal Rivals!" With this, Lee jumped up from the bed, pumping his fist in the air, "the sand-prince and the leaf-prince engaged in battle again! And once again, it was the Youthful Energy of the sand-prince that prevailed.

"She left the leaf village soon after, but the leaf-prince swore that he would avenge his defeat. In her Kind and Benevolent heart, the sand-prince hoped that she would be able to dissuade the angry leaf-prince from his evil ways. She left for home with a heavy heart and..." Lee could see Sabaku's head bobbing despite her obvious enjoyment of the story.

"...and her heroic deeds will be waiting for us another time." Lee gave his daughter a soft smile before tucking her into the bed next to him. When Gaara was away Lee kept Sabaku in the bed next to him. It always seemed as if the house felt ten times emptier without Gaara, and neither Lee nor Sabaku found it easy to sleep.

In the week that followed Lee found himself telling more and more dramatic tales of the demon Shukaku and his princely container. Changes to the already established canon were met with screeches and resounding "NO!"s. Lee winced when he thought of the night he had attempted to turn "Sabaku no Sabaku" from a prince to a princess. Sabaku knew exactly how each story should go, and protested loudly when it didn't follow her preconceived notions.

Kyuubi and the "mysterious leaf-prince" appeared so often in the story, but other bad-guys were prevalent too. Lee was especially fond of the ogre-like "Ancient Frog-lord Jiraiya" and the devious "Copy-Cat-nin", both of whom were defeated by the almighty power of Youth.

Lee didn't realize the full extent of his folly until a week later. They were playing the "what sound?" game as Lee prepared breakfast.

"What sound does a cow make?" Lee asked, juggling a pitcher of milk and a red-hot-frying pan. There was banana on the floor that he was avoiding only through fancy footwork and high level taijustsu.

"Mooo." Sabaku said. She, also, was preoccupied, half of the fruit Lee had given her was resting comfortably in the bowl, the other half was nestled safely in her wild brown curls and in the back of her shirt.

"What sound does a... duck make?" Lee asked, finally setting the pan down and pouring the milk into a bright orange sippy-cup.

"Quack." She said, seriously concentrating on her task.

"What sound does a..." Lee began.

"Shu-_ka_-ku!"

"What sound does a Shukaku make?" Lee asked, more of himself than Sabaku.

"RAWR!" Sabaku shouted, slamming her fist down on her fruit-bowl and scattering it;s contents across the floor.

"Rawr?" Lee asked, his gigantic eyebrows shotting into his hairline.

"Shukaku! RAWR!" Sabaku shouted with glee. Lee could feel Gaara glaring at him from somewhere from across the continent. He was screwed. Gaara would come home and murder him with a toothpick.

"RAWR!" They would never find the body.

* * *

AN: there it is. Completely unedited and rushed, but it exists. The next chapter will be funnier, I promise! 

AND it's too short! I'm so mad!


	3. Sabaku and the Nemesises

A/N: Well, here it is finally. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.

I would also like to reply to a few reviews that I got for the first chapter, namely that this story is not an mpreg. I have nothing against mpregs, I simply choose not to write them, especially since it is my belief that gay couples have _lots_ of choices for having children and (while mpreg is a nice idea) it's sometimes nicer to see some adoption or baby-by-surrogacy. Sabaku is not a genetic child of Gaara or Lee, she's adopted.

Now that I'm done being a bitch I can welcome you all to this long delayed and hopelessly short chapter! Hugs all around

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Domesticity: Sabaku no Sabaku and the Evil Nemesis-is-is-is-es

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Rock Lee strolled the streets of his Youth with a grin on his face. Lee was happy. Despite the fact that he hadn't seen his lover in weeks, despite the fact that he had been forced to drag his daughter (now entering the "terrible twos") on a three day hike across the desert to attend a ridiculous diplomatic function, despite the fact that said daughter had taken to playing at being the scourge of Sunagakure (boy would Gaara be pissed when he learned about that), Lee was happy.

Even Lee would admit to a small amount of homesickness every now and then, and he felt incredibly relieved that he could return to the leaf village and feel _cool_ air on his skin and _bathe_ in deep pools of water. Lee was happy, even if he was returning to his home village after two years of absence with a daughter that no one knew about at the oh-so-tender age of nineteen. It was good to be home, Lee told himself. _It was good to be home_.

Sabaku no Sabaku, prince of Sunagakure and scourge of bad-nins everywhere did _not_ like Konoha. It was wet and noisy and full of bugs and she had been _cold_ for the first time in her life. So (following her own method™ of getting her way) Sabaku began to scream.

Lee forced his smile a little wider and suppressed a very uncharacteristic curse. He stopped in the middle of downtown Konoha and pulled his wailing child into his arms. The trip had been just a little stressful, Lee was tired, and he was soon learning that Sabaku _hated_ leaving the desert. Lee tried the baby-bounce (tested and approved by baby-handlers everywhere), but it merely made Sabaku's wails hitch like a wobbling record.

"Oh... Sabaku." Lee said in what was definitely _not_ a whine, "Please do not get upset now!"

"Home!" She screeched.

"We cannot go home now Sabaku," Lee explained while at the same time stepping up the baby-bounce, "We have just arrived."

"Go home!" she cried fisting tiny hands in Lee's hair and pulling until Lee could feel his eyes tear. In the back of his head Lee spared a moment to cheer over Sabaku's amazing strength. She would make such a _great_ ninja!

"Awww..." a voice poked out from behind him, "poor cutie."

"Huh?" Lee spun around, coming nose-to-uncomfortably-large-forehead with none other than Haruno Sakura.

"Lee!" she screeched.

"Sakura-san!" Lee screeched back. His day couldn't possibly get any worse. Lee and Sakura had left on rather bad terms when Lee had departed for Sunagakure. Apparently she had been keeping him as a backup-boyfriend, and didn't appreciate his removal from the dating pool.

Lee still liked Sakura, even is she had been what Naruto deemed an "irredeemable bitch". She still, somewhat, fueled the Flame of his Everlasting Youth, she just fueled it in a _friend-flavored _manner.

"That's. Ah... That's not _your kid_ is it?" She peaked at the now silent Sabaku who was watching her warily from Lee's arms.

"Yes!" He said, falling back once again on his own irrepressible exuberance, "This is Sabaku."

Sabaku gave the strange woman a glower equal to that of her father and tugged one last time on Lee's bowl cute.

"Home." She said in a watery voice.

"She does not like Konoha much." Lee said sadly. Sakura merely stared.

"I feel like something is missing here." She said, "Weren't you with Gaara?"

"Of course!" Lee enthused.

"Then..." A moment of silence followed. "Did you leave him?"

"NO!"

"Well then..." Eyes drifted from Sabaku to Lee and then back to Sabaku, "I guess it is medically possible for a man to... Then how come you didn't explode?"

"What? Explode!" Lee looked more than a little uncomfortable. Any discussion of spontaneous combustion was a little disturbing, especially coming from a medic-nin.

"No! What I meant to say is, we all know where baby's come from." Sakura continued, hoping to all five Hokage up in the sky that Lee did know where babies came from.

"Of course!" Lee responded.

"Well, you and Gaara lack the necessary, umm_, pluming_ to produce a child all on you're own."

"Certainly!" Lee said, his exclamation point all but visible, "We are both virile and youthful men!"

Sakura let out a tired sigh. Lee was only capable of understanding anything remotely subtle when you least expected it, apparently today was not one of those days.

"Then were did you get the baby!" Inner-Sakura made a brief appearance. Ninja all over Konoha shuddered in fear.

"We found her." Lee said in a voice that would have, in any other person, been screaming "duh!"

"Found her?"

"Yes, in the desert." He reached up to pull at one of Sabaku's small hands with the hugest new-father grin ever seen by the eyes of ninja.

"Oh." Sakura said, "O-o-oh."

"Wanna go home." Sabaku grumbled, upset both by the unnatural wet atmosphere and by being ignored.

"We cannot go home right now Sabaku-chan," Lee explained in a decidedly un-baby-like voice. Sakura noted this because she, and most other people in the world, addressed anyone under five in a high-pitched cooing voice guaranteed to blow eardrums from a mile away.

"Go home." Sabaku insisted.

"I have to meet with Tsunade-sama." Lee tried to explain, although it made little difference to a toddler with travel on her mind.

"Hey, how about I take Sabaku-chan out on the town while you visit with the Hokage," Sakura suggested. Few thoughts in her mind besides "_Cute! Baby! Baby cute!" _

Lee looked a little nervous about handing Sabaku over to a babysitter, but the gathering Tsunade had insisted he attend would be long and difficult with Sabaku in tow. Not to mention he was _tired_. Maybe spending some time with Sakura would help Sabaku to recover from her strange bout of homesickness.

Another thought passed through Lee's head that supported his decision more that simple fatigue or circumstance. Sabaku, while nearing two years of age, was far too quiet. She rarely used more than one word to get her point across and, while she had no trouble screaming her lungs out, was less inclined to verbalize her feelings. Perhaps she would open up a little to someone who wasn't one of her fathers.

Sabaku no Sabaku, prince of Sunagakure and scourge of bad-nins everywhere, did not at all like the idea of going off with the pink lady. She wanted to go home. She was on the verge of another screaming fit when Lee nodded sharply and pushed her into an unknown woman's arms.

"Food, water, juice, diapers, and blanket are in the bag." He said, pushing the heavy baby (although he could hardly call her that anymore) bag in her direction as well, "Sabaku is basically potty-trained and she can tell you if she needs anything. No sweets, nap at noon."

"Yesser?" Sakura said, more than a little shell shocked, as Sabaku was placed firmly on her own two legs beside her temporary caretaker.

"I will meet you at the Hokage's office at five." Lee said. With that he gave his daughter a swift kiss on the cheek and ran off as fast as his high-trained muscles could carry him.

Sakura glanced down at the small child who was suddenly in her care. Sabaku looked almost nothing like Lee or Gaara. Which, Sakura had to remind herself, made sense since Sabaku was not actually related to either of them.

If anything, Sakura thought, Sabaku looked like Iruka-sensei. The child was extremely small (tiny, even compared to other toddlers) and had a great mass of wavy, dark-brown hair that would have stayed nearly straight up in the air had it not been forced into a relatively neat ponytail. The girl's brown hair was matched by her brown skin (courtesy of the Suna sun) and brown eyes. For a girl who was made up almost entirely of variations of the same color, Sabaku was very cute.

Sakura was amazed that she wasn't sporting either a 'love' tattoo or the classic lee haircut. Maybe the beautiful beast had come to his hair-challenged senses. On the other hand, Sakura thought as she let her gaze drift down the perfectly fitted green jumpsuit and red scarf (making the poor thing look a little like a Christmas tree), it was more likely that Lee simply hadn't gotten around to the bowl-cut yet.

As Sakura pondered, Sabaku no Sabaku was devising a plan. A devious, dastardly, destructive plan with lots of alliteration in it. Sabaku no Sabaku, prince of Sunagakure, scourge of bad-nins etc. etc. was going _home_.

"Now." Sakura said, deciding to make the best of her sudden babysitting duties, she _had_ offered after all, "Lets see what we can find to do."

Sakura bent down, to pick up her own purse before turning back to the small child standing in front of her...

...only to find that there was _no_ small child standing in front of her. Sometime between Sakura's contemplating and preparation for departure, the toddler had slipped out of sight. Sakura felt something akin to horror, only a little more life threatening. She had just lost Lee's daughter. She had just lost _Sabaku no Gaara's _daughter.

"Shit."

Sabaku no Sabaku, prince of Sunagakure, etc was on her way home. Or at least, she was attempting to find her way home through the dangerous and confusing forest of wetness that was worse than a bath and the chickenpox combined. Still, Sabaku no Sabaku was strong, resilient, and Youthful! She would find her way from this Den of Injustice into the bright sands of her homeland.

It was long and tiresome trek, full of danger and Trials of Youth. Sabaku was quite unsure what a 'trial of youth' was, but Lee talked about them all the time and they sounded extremely dangerous.

She was just getting to the point in her quest when she was tired and cross enough to cry for a daddy when Sabaku saw something far more interesting than either of her daddies or the sweet dunes of home.

There, seated at a funny-shaped-house-thing was her arch-nemesis, her Youthful Rival, her sworn enemy. All thoughts of travel were left far behind as Sabaku no Sabaku, prince of Sunagakure, headed for her new goal.

Uzumaki Naruto never knew what hit him.

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"Iruka-sensei! I've been waiting ages, it's not nice for someone to be late to their own teacher's day celebration you know!" Naruto shouted, throwing himself at his teacher just like he always did. Despite the fact that he was 18 and taller than his sensei, he still managed to glomp the man and hold on.

"I'm sorry Naruto-kun..." Iruka began with his usual smile.

"... He was with me." Kakashi grinned from behind them his visible eye curled up in a smile.

Naruto made a face, "It's gross when couples finish each other's sentences." he informed them dryly before forgetting it entirely and dragging his two sensei towards the ramen stand.

"Come on! It's teacher's day!" He crowed, pushing them both into their seats and ordering the usual, "I'm buying."

"Teacher's day isn't actually a holiday is it?" Kakashi wondered.

"It is for us!"

"Naruto, if you don't slow down you'll choke..."

"Shu-_ka-_ku! RAWR!"

"Wha-?" Naruto spun around just in time to have his shins attacked by the most vicious toddler he had ever met (he had only ever met two toddlers but that was beside the point).

"RAWR!" She cried, kicking at his lower limbs as hard as she could.

"Ow!" He responded. Oh, he was good, Sabaku could tell that this battle would be fierce, especially when her adversary picked her up and held her far out of reach. Her limbs flailed as she attempted to vanquish her nemesis.

"Hey!" He growled as she somehow managed to get a kick in. Neither Iruka no Kakashi were any help at all, as they were both laughing their asses off.

"Damn it!" he screeched as Sabaku's teeth sunk into his arm, "Whose kid _is _this?"

"Kyuubi no youko! You shall be defeated by my hand!" Sabaku cried in her imagination. To the casual listener, however, it came out as something like "Kyuubi! RAWR!"

"What did she say?" Naruto cried, just a little upset that even babies knew about the fox-demon. Finally giving in to the inevitable, he let himself collapse down onto his stool and allowed the toddler to have her way with him.

Upon his surrender, Sabaku let herself fall to the ground and give a surprisingly accurate good-guy-pose. "Tr'umph! She declared. The threat of the evil Kyuubi had been diffused by her amazing bad-guy-turns-good no jutsu. Sabaku was the victor, and Kyuubi had been drawn to the side of the light.

She gave him a hug around the shin to initiate him in the ways of the just.

"What the _fuck_ just happened?" Naruto asked, only to be given a glare and a shocked "language!" from Iruka. The two older ninja promptly ignored Naruto and his confusion, instead paying attention to the small creature attached to his leg.

Iruka, like the fabulous teacher and child-care-provider he was, managed to sweep Sabaku into his arms with minimal fuss or difficulty. He gave her a swing and grinned as she squealed in delight.

"What's your name princess?" he asked her, holding in front of her his face.

"Prince." She said primly, giving him a glare befitting the daughter of Sabaku no Gaara.

"Aa" He replied with a confused look at the others, "Prince then."

"Sabaku no Sabaku!" she proclaimed.

"Desert of the desert?" Kakashi asked, "Why does that sound familiar?"

"Why is she wearing green spandex?" Naruto asked.

"Why was she all along in the middle of the street?" Iruka asked.

"What are you doing with my daughter?" Gaara asked, his usual monotone voice tinted just slightly with overprotective panic.

"Daddy!" Sabaku cried. She wriggled out of Iruka's arms and over to her father, who scooped her up and gave her a quick once over.

"What is she doing here?" He demanded of the three leaf-nin, "Where is Lee?" the sand in the gourd shifted irritably, gathering nervous stares from those around him.

"Ummmm..." Naruto began, looking from the child to Gaara and then back to the child. Left without a response, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Where did you get a kid?"

"In the desert." Gaara told him flatly, his evil glare firmly in place. Sabaku was oblivious to her father's distress, being much more interested in playing with his hair. Gaara's hair was soft and luscious and really red and it smelled like sand. Sabaku _loved _the smell of sand. She tugged a few strands loose and held them in a closed fist for later use.

"Aa..." Iruka agreed nervously.

"Sabaku!" Sakura managed to interfere just before a vicious outbreak of Gaara-style butt whopping. She rushed to the child, babbling about her relief and apologizing to the small, and uninterested, child only to halt a mere three feat from Sabaku and her father.

"_Gaara_!" Sakura screeched in a wavering voice. Her life flashed before her eyes and it did not contain nearly enough sex-scenes.

"Pink...Ummm..." Gaara said, struggling to remember her name. Eventually he gave up, deciding to focus on the matter at hand. "Why is my daughter here?"

"Gaara-sama." Sakura said in her most calm and non-threatening voice, "I was babysitting Sabaku but she ran away from me and..."

"I do not want you to sit on her." Gaara interrupted.

"I...I..." Sakura suddenly realized that she could play off on Gaara's, sometimes confusing, logic to get out of the situation with all her limbs and gloriously unclogged pores. "I do not want to sit on her either!"

With that, she sped down the street towards her home and her comforting photo-books of a shirtless Sasuke, leaving the frightening Kazekage looking vaguely justified behind her.

Just as peace was beginning to fall upon the Sabaku/Lee family once more, and Naruto was laughing ramen out his nose, Sabaku decided to show her beloved father her new favorite game. Lifting up a brandished fist she grinned a grin of triumph.

The Pink-haired eater of souls had been vanquished, the king saved from two weeks of hard Kazekage labor, and the evil nemesis had become a glorious sidekick. This moment, Sabaku decided, called for a victory cry. Something to shout to the heavens that would express her glorious youth. Something like...

"Shu-_ka_-ku! RAWR!"

Gaara looked down at his child, who had just uttered the name of his demon tenant, who knew about the terrible creature that resided within him and wondered where she had learned of the sand-monster. He and Lee would have to talk...

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A/N: DAMN! That took me soooo long. I'm sorry everybody, I have had severe writers block and I've been away for a long time. Many things have kept me from writing, but mostly I was lazy... Please forgive me!

... I was a wimp by putting off Gaara's reaction for another chapter. Blame it on chronic writers block.


	4. Sabaku and the Lion King Reference

AN: Well, Heres another chapter finally! Thanks to: ravens secret stalker, VenusIsKnownForFlyTraps, AncientHistory, Dark-Shiro, psychotic Kat, noah, Katterree Fengari, Ranma Higurashi, KabutoxOrochimarufangirl1, redclover, Marie, Raven Cactuar, Demain Matin (j'aime votre nom!), aaliyah60002000, Meemei, wolf-deamon333 (sorry there was no death, my muses didn't feel like domestic troubles today), Syngamy, Artemis MoonClaw, and SilverCrystal9.

Most of all "thank you" to Tenchibaka, who has flattered me so much in the past few weeks that I would give her my firstborn. I absolutly adore you!!!

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Domesticity: Sabaku and the Lion King Reference 

By ISMA

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"Someday," Gaara told his young daughter as they sat on roof of the highest tower in Sunagakure, overlooking their fine city, "All this will be yours." 

"What?" Asked Sabaku. She was just barely talking in sentences and her favorite words tented towards those beginning with 'W'. Gaara was beginning to find that she didn't understand him nearly and much as he didn't understand her.

"This." He replied firmly, "The village."

"Why?" Asked Sabaku, stretching out her single word until it filled the space of an entire sentence."

Gaara had to think to answer that one, "because I am the Kazekage and someday you will be Kazekage as well."

"Why?"

"Because that's the way it works." Gaara had heard that sentence nearly a million times from other sources in his childhood. 'why does the sun rise?' 'Because that's the way it works', 'Why does Temari get the last slice of pizza?' 'Because that's the way it works', 'Why am I slowly crushing people to death in the middle of the desert?' 'Because that's the way it works'.

It was a good all-purpose answer, Gaara decided.

Sabaku, too, thought long and hard about the information given to her. It was a matter to ponder, and ponder it she did. Finally, the child came to a decision.

"Don't wanna." She proclaimed.

"What?"

"Don't wanna be Kazekaze." She told her father surely.

"Kaze_kage_." He corrected automatically.

"Kazekaze." She responded, sure that her pronunciation was correct. Gaara let it drop.

"I wanna be Shu-_ka_-ku!" Sabaku told him with all the conviction a three year old can posses.

"You cannot be Shukaku" Gaara struggled between smiling (he never chuckled) at Sabaku's childish antics.

"Why?" Sabaku asked, somehow implying that she already knew the answer and he didn't.

"Because Shukaku is an evil, bloodthirsty demon of the sand." He told her.

"Isn't!" She responded irritably.

"Because little girls aren't allowed to be vicious demons." He told her.

Sabaku took a moment to think about this, before deciding that her father was once again mistaken.

"Power of youth!" She told him firmly. According to Lee all obstacles could be overcome through the power of youth. She had no doubt that her own youthful vigor could make her into a vicious demon if she wanted it to.

"Well then," Gaara said, "you can't be Shukaku because _I_ am Shukaku!" He was sure he had gotten the three-year-old on that one.

"Where?" His daughter proceeded to circle him with her eyes, obviously looking for where he kept his tanuki-demon bits.

Gaara couldn't exactly release the bloodthirsty demon on his small and unsuspecting child, so he settled for making a swirl of tanuki-shaped sand around his shoulders.

The little sand-creature spun around his head and jumped into the gourd, becoming one with the rest of Gaara's weapon. Sabaku stared in awe. For all of three seconds.

"Shu-_ka_-ku!" She squealed, diving for Gaara's gourd and the faintly twitching mass of sand.

Gaara was beginning to think that this had been a bad idea.

Gaara and Sabaku returned to their home as sunset approached in their usual post-father-daughter-day state. The dirt that normally covers all children under the age of thirteen had nearly tripled in mass and Gaara was sporting a rather bizarre looking smudge above his non-existent eyebrows. Lee had expected them and, as usual, was waiting with a wet washcloth and a bowl of macaroni and cheese.

Sabaku ambushed her father with tales of sand-lizards and jump rope and miso ramen with pork. He responded by nodding and agreeing as many parents are want to do, but was disturbed from his routine by an attack to the head from something soft and cuddly.

Lee looked down at the floor and his assailant; a lumpy and malformed stuffed animal that looked not quite unlike a very familiar tanuki.

"What is this?" He asked lifting the creature from it's place on the linoleum.

"Shu-_ka_-ku" Sabaku told him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Lee looked at the toy, then at his daughter, then back to the toy. "I thought you were Shukaku." He said finally.

"Stupid!" Sabaku cried, "Daddy is Shu_ka_ku."

"Don't call Lee stupid." Gaara reprimanded her as he reentered the kitchen.

"Gaara?" Lee held up the creature and was surprised to see a slight blush form on his husbands face.

"She wouldn't stop talking about it so I…"

"You made her a Shukaku doll?" Lee asked, his face unreadable. Gaara nodded dejectedly.

"That's… That's…" Gaara waited for Lee to tell him that it was a bad idea, not to encourage their daughters strange fantasy.

"That's SO CUTE!!" Lee squealed, sounding freakishly like certain female ninjas from his home village. Gaara almost winced.

"How WONDERFUL to see MY LOVING FAMILY behaving in such a YOUTHFUL manner!" Lee began to rant. Gaara sagged against the counter top in relief.

As one father ranted on the shining beauty of love, and the other melted into the granite, Sabaku no Sabaku grinned a devious grin. She and her faithful sidekick, the noble but ferocious Shukaku, were involved in a fearsome battle between right and wrong.

In the middle of his rant Lee felt something soft and cuddly fly forcefully into the side of his head. The stuffed toy fell to the floor for the second time that day, thrown by the hand of a toddler on a mission.

"Shu-_ka_-ku!" His child cried in the heat of her imagined battle, "_RAWR!_"

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AN: 

Sorry this is so late and so short. I _do_ have a plan for the next chapter so hopefully it will be out sooner than this one. Thank you all for so many reviews and all the love I've been getting!


	5. Sabaku no Sabaku and the Daddy Date

AN: Ok so I was watching the Health Channel today... And by Health Channel I mean Babies-and-weight-loss Channel. And there was a show where all these moms sat at a coffee shop and talked about being moms. I love these shows. At seventeen I am anxiously awaiting my horde of babies. Seriously. I could tell you more about parenting at this point in my life than any other child-less seventeen-year old in existance. I want babies...

...anyway, getting back to my original point, one of the moms in the show was talking about how much trouble she and her husband had 'keeping the romance alive' and all the other moms started making these cute suggestions that were reall**y adorable** until I realized that they were moms and ew I have a mom and... I'll just start writing now and shut up.

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Sabaku no Sabaku and the Daddy Date:

Any parent can attest to the fact that children wreck any semblance to what might have previously been the love life of their doting daddies and... daddies. Late night feedings, nightmares, tiring baby-filled days, and the added load of daily work has crushed many a late-night liaison.

Rock Lee was beginning to find that his relationship with the Kazekage was becoming just as... well... sexless as it had been when they were still debating water-saving torture techniques and avoiding embarrassing eye-contact (1).

Lee wasn't exactly a sex-addict like Sasuke (he had heard that story, _everyone_ had heard that story, Lee was surprised they hadn't heard that story in water country), or a pervert like Kakashi, bu he enjoyed sex. _A lot_. Lee enjoyed sex so much that he missed it when he wasn't getting any.

What with taking care of Sabaku, his ninja duties, and Gaara's Kazekage duties, Lee wasn't getting any at all. This bothered him, a great deal, as he was still very young and virile and in the Prime of Youth. He was eighteen and a ninja! A Youthful ninja! A Youthful ninja of the green village of Konoha!

"The Celibacy Must Stop!"

"What?" Gaara looked up from his place at the kitchen table where he was attempting, unsuccessfully, to stuff a spoonful of diced carrots into Sabaku's mouth.

"Er... I mean... We Should Go on a Date!" said the smaller green beast of Konoha.

Gaara blinked. And looked at the spoon. "I am busy."

"We shall find a babysitter!" Lee declared brightly.

"..."

"We shall find a secretary!"

"..."

"WE SHALL GO ON A SE... DATE!" Lee shouted grabbing his boyfriend (2) and his baby and rushing out the door.

Iruka loved visiting Suna. It generally meant that he was on a mission that did not involve small children or pointy things being thrown at him. It was warm enough that he could work on his tan if he wanted, and it provided him the needed time to rest between Kakashi-attacks. Not that he didn't _like_ Kakashi, the jounin was simply exhausting and sometimes a man needed a break. Not that he would ever admit that but...

Iruka was snapped out of his musing as his hotel room door was slammed open by none other than his former student and the Kazekage himself.

"Iruka-sensei! I need a babysitter! Will you help? Thanks, bye!" Lee shot out, stuffing a toddler in his arms and running out the door.

"..." Gaara managed to squeeze in before he was pulled out after the green beast.

Sabaku looked up at the man who she had been thrust upon and grabbed a lock of his hair.

"Brown." She said calmly, looking him in the eyes with all the solemnity of the Kazekage himself.

"Thank you." Iruka replied. Lifting the child to his hip he moved into the hotel rooms' small kitchenette and began preparing some chicken noodle soup. He could tell that this small child would not be a threat to his vacation. She was awfully cute too... Maybe he would take her to go tanning with him.

Meanwhile, Lee was standing in the hotel lobby with a dilemma. Should there be romance? Perhaps a candle-lit dinner at the local pizza joint or a walk together down the sun-scorched avenue during midday? Or should he go straight to the sex. Decisions were becoming difficult.

"..." Gaara said

Lee sighed. He had forgotten about Gaara's Kazekage work, and they couldn't rightly begin with the sex before they had found someone else to do the paper work.

"Hold on." Lee whispered in Gaara's ear. He quickly rented a room and pressed the key into his boyfriends hand before racing out the door of the hotel, towards Gaara's office.

"..." Gaara blinked at the woman at the desk and pocketed the key before calmly walking out the door. There was a store just a few blocks down, he knew, that would be perfect for se... the date.

Lee, however, was having a great deal of trouble finding someone to take on the most esteemed paper-pushing duties of the village leader. When he had run in to Temari's house he had seen little more than a flash of leather and decided that it would be better to look somewhere else.

Kankuro, also, was entertaining company when Lee arrived at his home. However, Lee was not nearly a afraid of him as he was of Temari, and Kankuro soon found himself seated at Gaara's desk with a very confused Inuzuka Kiba wondering where he had gone and why was the window broken.

Lee had never been so glad of his inhuman speed.

Returning to the hotel, Lee ran up to the room he and Gaara had rented and flung the door open to reveal the most romantic sight he had ever laid eyes on. The lights were low, soft music flowing from a speaker somewhere in the room, and Gaara was on his knees, offering him a whip and a lime-green dildo.

"..." Gaara said.

"I love you too." Lee sniffed back, his manly tears overflowing, "This is so romantic!"

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AN: an abrupt end because I ran out of steam I wrote this whole thing it a little over 45 minutes...

1) All the way back in Water Logic, chapter 1.

2) Frickity. I realized that I called Gaara Lee's husband in the last chapter. They are not married... yet... So please disregarded previous husband-ness. Thank you. bows.

A FINAL NOTE: In case none of you noticed, a very long time has passed since the last time I posted, and the last time I actually wrote anything for this fic. I'm not saying it's over... completely... because I still have a few ideas for Gaara and Lee and I could come back and post at any time. BUT it's not very likely as college and health issues have both severely curtailed my writing. Sorry to all the folks still reading (few though you may be) but Domesticity is now officially in a coma.


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